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The term “minimalist family” may seem like an oxymoron (hello, piles of toys and laundry!) but it is possible to achieve a simplistic lifestyle with kids. By getting rid of the excess, parents can create a more connected and less chaotic home life. Plus, if you’re considering becoming a digital nomad family, you’ll absolutely need to minimize which items you bring with you while traveling!
“Too much crap makes anyone feel chaotic and stressed, kids included,” Katie, a mom of three recently told me.
“Kids who have a bunch of crap are not happier kids. I am not depriving them of anything. I am doing them a service by providing a peaceful, clean environment that’s conducive to play.”
Many studies point to a positive relationship between a minimalist lifestyle and mental health. A 2021 research article reviewed 23 studies with over 10,000 participants and found a positive connection between “voluntary simplicity” (aka minimalism) and mental well-being.
While the research can’t pinpoint exactly why that positive relationship exists, the authors speculate that minimalists may have learned to control their desires better than people who lead a more materialist lifestyle. A minimalist lifestyle may also simply free up time: less stuff means less cleaning, less maintenance, and more time to focus on other psychological needs.
Minimalism looks different for every family. Some dive in headfirst into strict minimalism — owning only the bare essentials — while others take small steps towards a more balanced approach. The common thread is a focus on intentionality and connection.
“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value in life by removing anything that distracts us from it,” says Joshua Becker, on his Becoming Minimalist blog and author of The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life.
This definition leaves room for a lot of different interpretations. The key is finding what degree of minimalism brings your family the most connection.
For most families, however, the first thing to reconsider when becoming a minimalist family is the amount of toys in the house.
Toy overload and children’s mental health
Vox‘s Anna North recently reported that many American parents feel as if they’re drowning in toys — a feeling that data may actually support.
As North notes, toy sales soared during the pandemic but shows no sign of sinking back to pre-pandemic levels thanks primarily to two factors.
Toys have, surprisingly, gotten cheaper in America.
“A toy that cost $20 in 1993 would retail for just $4.68 today, in part because of lower production costs as manufacturing moved overseas,” writes North.
Combine that with the growing accessibility and ease of online shopping and it’s no mystery why so many families feel overwhelmed by toy clutter.
Toys have, surprisingly, gotten cheaper in America.
And parents aren’t the only ones that feel overwhelmed.
Sometimes “kids don’t play with anything, because there’s just too many options,” Sarah Davis, a parenting coach and co-author of the book Modern Manners for Moms and Dads, told Vox.
Having fewer toys can force kids to use their imagination to create new games and narratives with the toys they already have.
And if they get bored with the toys they have? All the better, says clinical psychologist Stephanie Lee, PsyD.
“Boredom might not be super distressing,” she explains in Psychology Today, “but it’s not fun. Life requires us to manage our frustrations and regulate our emotions when things aren’t going our way, and boredom is a great way to teach that skill.”
“The key is to help kids learn how to manage their boredom so they can develop independence and feel agency over their own happiness and well-being.”
Here are some tips for how to jump-start your journey becoming a minimalist family.
A minimalist family declutters together (brace yourself for emotional attachments)
Decluttering with kids can be tricky—sentimentality knows no age. A forgotten toy suddenly becomes a treasure the moment you suggest donating it. Here’s some tips on how to tackle that:
- Turn it into a game. Challenge your kids to find ten items they don’t use anymore. Reward their efforts with a special outing or a treat.
- Explain the why. Share how their unused items can bring joy to other kids.
- Set a timer. Kids work better with structure. Keep sessions short and sweet to avoid burnout or drama.
- Start small and celebrate wins. Focus on the benefits: a tidy playroom, more time to play outside, or easier cleanup. Involve kids in decision-making so they feel empowered, not punished.
It’s important not to be too pushy with this if a child shows lots of attachment to their items. Younger kids may need to take it slower and be taught how to organize and prioritize their stuff.
Although, as Katie told me, she’s stricter with her older kids.
“This is kinda controversial, but I don’t hesitate to throw my kids crap away! I’m not mean about it- but if you’re old enough and continuously leaving stuff laying around then I’m tossing it. I refuse to be stressed by stuff.”
“This is kinda controversial, but I don’t hesitate to throw my kids crap away! I’m not mean about it- but if you’re old enough and continuously leaving stuff laying around then I’m tossing it.
Katie H.
Find solutions for your sentimental items
Sentimental objects can be tricky even for adults. While there are items you should probably keep — maybe don’t throw away your great grandparents’ wedding rings — there’s probably room to reevaluate certain items.
For example, almost anything kids touch can become sentimental to parents— artwork, baby clothes, and that macaroni necklace they made in preschool. But should you really keep all of it?
Here’s some solutions that can help you keep memories alive while also freeing up space:
- Digitize artwork. Take photos of kids’ creations and save them in a digital scrapbook. Display a few favorites in a rotating frame for a personal touch. Companies like Artkive will digitize it for you and send you a physical scrapbook of all your kiddos’s art!
- Create a memory box. Give each family member one box to store their most cherished items. When it’s full, it’s time to reevaluate what stays.
- Involve your kids. Ask them what really matters. You might be surprised by their ability to let go.
Focus on quality, open-ended toys
Open-ended toys can be played with in multiple ways. These toys don’t have an end goal. For example, a puzzle is a “closed toy” because there’s only one way to interact with it.
Legos, on the other hand, are open-ended, and can be assembled in a million different ways. These toys are great for a minimalist family — they tend to hold a child’s imagination for longer periods of time! There’s no need to buy 100 poor quality toys when one quality, open-ended toy will do the trick.
For example, we have two boys ages 3 and 6 and legos, art supplies, and old costumes are easily the most played with items in our house — their other toys don’t add to creative play, makes a mess of the house, and usually leads to more arguments.
Do you need several items that do the same thing?
The kitchen is probably the easiest room in the house to accumulate redundant items. While having multiple plates, cups, cutting boards, etc., may seem like it would make your life easier, often times it does the opposite. It’s so easy to let dishes pile up in the sink when you know you have other dishes you can use.
Do you need 6 bottles for your baby, or will one do?
What about kid plates? Cups?
Letting go of these items will make it easier to keep the house clean!
Overcoming the “what if we need it?” fear
Parents often worry about discarding items they might need someday.
Any easy solution to this is to set up a trial period. Box up items you’re unsure about and revisit them in six months. Chances are, you won’t even remember what’s inside.
Managing holidays and birthdays
Festive seasons can undo months of decluttering progress. Be sure to talk to your relatives who may be inclined to buy your kids a lot of toys — explain the home you’re trying to create and how they can help. Give them suggestions on how they can give experiences — tickets to the movie theatre or zoo — over toys. Of course, you can’t dictate what others choose to give but people are typically more willing to accommodate if you take the time to explain the benefits of being a minimalist family!
You can also have a plan with your kids by practicing the one-in, one-out rule. For every new item they get, they have to donate or discard an old one.