“School moves way more slowly than people think. I learned that during COVID when my kid was home with a laptop and I was like, ‘Why is it taking three months to do this thing on trapezoids? And then I got it: there’s 30 kids, and this one’s running off, and this one’s disruptive,” says Stephanie Tolk, a mom of two based in Portland, Oregon.
“They actually don’t get through a lot,”
Many parents like Tolk began to rethink how they educate their children after the remote learning experiment during the pandemic.
While most students are now back in traditional schools, alternative education is still generating huge interest among families. Homeschooling has increased by a staggering 51% in recent years, hybrid schools are on the rise, and micro-schools have become trendy.
“Our job is to prepare children for the future and if you’re feeling like it’s not happening at your school, there’s all of these other ways that your kids can learn,” says Tolk who took her girls out of school for two years to worldschool in 2020.
Worldschooling is another alternative educational path that is gaining popularity. It’s a broad term that describes education through travel. Many parents use travel to introduce their children to new cultures and experiences they would not get in a traditional classroom.
Earlier this year, Tolk founded Deliberate Detour, a travel company that designs worldschooling programs in Latin America. She currently organizes programs in Mexico, Peru, and Guatemala. She offers 2-week and month-long program options, focused on cultural immersion. (Disclosure: Deliberate Detour is a partner of Remote Family. Use promo code Remote50 to receive a $50 discount).
I recently talked with Tolk about overcoming the fear of pulling kids out of traditional school, the importance of making local connections during your travels, and what she hopes families will gain from a Deliberate Detour experience.
This interview has been lightly edited for brevity and clarity.
Your kids were 10 and 12 in 2020 when you set off on your first big international trip as a family — for two years! Sometimes it can be hard for kids of that age to adjust and leave their friends. How did that go?
They didn’t know what to expect. What we realized is how little they know about the world. We asked them where they wanted to go and what kind of activity they wanted to do. But they didn’t know that much about the world. It was a big unknown.
And [the trip] went really well. We were in 13 countries, we did two worldschooling hubs.
We learned a lot about each other. My husband and I learned a lot about our kids and what a good daily rhythm is for each of them. Like, ‘Oh, we’re moving too fast. Now we’re moving too slow. Oh, this one likes cities. This one can’t stand cities.’ It’s just so many micro lessons in that first year. It was astounding.
Was it scary for you to pull them out of school and start worldschooling?
I think school moves way more slowly than people think — a lot of us learned that during COVID when my kid was home with a laptop and I was like, ‘Why is it taking three months to do this thing on trapezoids?’ Then I got it: there’s 30 kids and this one’s running off and this one’s disruptive; they actually don’t get through it a lot.
So that [realization] notched the fear down for me. I think we learn what we experience and I think it cements in your brain more quickly than if you read something or if you’re in a classroom and you’re never outside actually seeing these places. I think even short-term trips have value. I don’t worry anymore about them ‘falling behind.’
What was your experience with the worldschooling hubs?
These worldschooling hubs were amazing, not just for my kids to socialize and explore these cultures but for me to meet these parents.
I thought I had traveled a lot. And then I met people who’d been to 110 countries, traveling for nine years; their kids were born in all these [international] places. It was such an impressive group of people out there.
Did that experience prompt you to start your own hubs with Deliberate Detour?
I knew [after our 2020 trip] I wanted to stay connected to the travel community. At the time, there weren’t that many worldschooling hubs. I had started a nonprofit in my 20s. I had run a business and done finance and strategic planning and HR and all of that, so I wasn’t deterred by the business side of it. And then I had all this travel experience as a worldschooling mom. So those things all came together to create Deliberate Detour.
Why should parents— especially first-time worldschooling parents — consider Deliberate Detour?
Most people join these [worldschool hubs] because they want a community. Our kids need that socialization and sometimes [traveling] can be lonely. There are different hubs out there and they may or may not be that connected to the local culture, but the main motivation is just to hang out together.
Deliberate Detour [emphasizes] cultural connection. I’m not running them, as an American woman that has not lived in any of [these places] for more than a few months. I’ve got local people running them. I’ve got people who have extensive networks within these three cities. They’re the ones finding the folks who are teaching the hands-on workshops, they’re finding historians to [teach the kids]. We do two activities every day; we have walks and guided tours, so it’s an experiential education program.
It sounds like breaking out of the tourist mold is important for you personally and Deliberate Detour. What can families gain from these types of experiences?
I think there’s this barrier that just exists between people when you cross into another culture. We get into these roles: the host and the guest, the driver and the person being driven. We inhabit these dualities and we have a hard time just being people. If you can strip away those roles you can understand the world more deeply.
We inhabit these dualities and we have a hard time just being people. If you can strip away those roles you can understand the world more deeply.
Stephanie Tolk
But it’s really hard to do. I try my best with Deliberate Detour to create those connected experiences experiences with local people; so, while they may be teaching you basket making or textile weaving or the history of cacao we just try to chat with people and get to know them because that’s what creates empathy and connection and ultimately peace.
What’s the one thing that you want Deliberate Detour families to experience or learn from your hubs?
Having the children and the parents develop a deeper understanding and appreciation for the culture, including the history [of a place]t. And all of the personal growth that engenders…that’s what I want them to walk away with. And by personal growth, I mean, dismantling stereotypes, challenging your assumptions, opening your heart and mind to other ways of life that may be better than your own.